mind is wonderful. when we write it down, it's inspiring. when we sing it aloud, its tunes are the loveliest. when we sketch it up, it's visually perfect. there's so many ordinary person, but there's no ordinary mind. hello, i am suannya fidiankha adristi, enjoy♥
the days of made up reality, when every people screams conspiracy. when being kind is a crime, and suspicion is common. we follow trend - or actually follow what is an inverse of trend which is the actual trend. when people scream mainstream to everything common, and think cool to everything they don’t know.
people are exaggeratedly driven by how they want to be seen. sickening.
part-time admirer, full-time dull dreamer. a hypocrite reality hater. made up a profile to see in the mirror. a proud off-camera actor. a poser. a devastated loser.
i am scared of relationships.
by relationship i don’t mean just love, but also friendship, families.
i am scared of being rejected. i am scared of my friends just playing sweet-face in front of me while actually feel of me as a nuisance. i am scared that i may not feel like i really belong there.
even with my friends that i used to feel very comfortable with, i also feel scared. i am scared, thinking about how they feel about me. i am scared once things change and circumstances change.
when i’m scared i pulled away. that way, i will feel even more distanced and thus more scared to go back to the friends i used to belong.
old friends, i can’t really keep up with. i’m no good at icebreaking. i hate those fake talks, typical. i don’t really keep up much with my old friends. but they are never less important in my heart. but then, seeing them with their new surroundings, i feel lost. and so i am scared that they never miss me. i am banned from their lives.
it’s stressful. i know i have to find courage to keep friends, but i can’t help but keep pulling away. i hate it. i hate myself for doing it.
i’m scared…. maybe nobody loves me anymore, i’m just this weird loner who likes to spend holiday alone not talking to anyone and not going anywhere. truth is i’d love to, but i am too scared…… you all may already have fun without me.
ngapain sih dibaca-baca lagi, bego, bego, bego.
rasanya pengen nyuruh lo yang baca ulang semuanya, lempar ke depan muka lo, masih berani lo bilang apa yang lo bilang ke gw ga?
why can’t we go back to the start.. i don’t wish things to start all over again just make it back at the verrrry start when we’re doing fine around each other, now who’s to blame?
fool me into believing, even the silliest lie i would easily believe.
